<pony><original><WIP>Expelled (instrumental demo)

[Mesogears]

Here's the second original track I've made. Note that it's completely unmastered, and as the thread title implies, has yet to have any vocals.

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92108087/EXPEL ... emo%29.mp3

This may become my Rainbow & Rooted submission; it depends on whether or not they'll take this type of song.

(As a side note: Yes, I am aware that the intro/verse kinda sounds like Stormwolf's "Perfect Picture." And, crazy as it may seem, it was not intentional.)

Feedback is highly appreciated.

[Twy]

I really like it. Honestly, I'm not sure how helpful this is as feedback because I can't find much else to say about it other than... I like it!

I'm sure there are a few small touch ups that could be done in general in terms of mastering and mixing, but even for an unmastered version of the track this sounds pretty good to me. The only minor issue I can really verbalize would just be that the drums might be slightly on the muddy side of things.

But yeah, it sounds really nice. Well done, and good work.

[Mesogears]

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92108087/EXPEL ... 202%21.mp3

Tweaked a few things to make the intro more effective, changed the beat a little, and added a new riff. The track still isn't mastered, though; I'm probably getting someone who is better at it to do that (This is for R&R and all).

[Patashu]

WOAH! Now this is cool. Here's a dude who knows what pitch bends and vibrato are for Finally!
Oooh, and he also uses jump-in-harmonize-and-jump-out leads. <3
And his music is really going places~
Hngh the little drum fill at 2:50~ So awesome~
Maybe make the transition-marking crashes stronger?

Nitpicks:
2:40 on: This section is too highly periodic. It does have a few things to change it up, but I get disappointed when the last measure of the two 'major repeats' is exactly identical to every other last-of-four-measures. The last measure should be when you think 'OK, time to do something unexpected... how about a different chord? How about I bring this melody all the way to the top and then drag it down? Could I add moar drums?'
... Hmm, that's about all I have atm. Keep composing and being crazy-cool-different!

Oh, and if this is for R&R, you'll probably want much puncher kicks and snares and stuff. Since they're looking for stuff you'd play at clubs and dance to, right? So you have to market to a slightly different audience is all. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it got rejected for not being 4/4 or dubstep XD But I will be excited if I am wrong, of course!

p.s. we should hang out

[Mesogears]

WOAH! Now this is cool. Here's a dude who knows what pitch bends and vibrato are for Finally!
Oooh, and he also uses jump-in-harmonize-and-jump-out leads. <3
And his music is really going places~
Hngh the little drum fill at 2:50~ So awesome~
Maybe make the transition-marking crashes stronger?

Nitpicks:
2:40 on: This section is too highly periodic. It does have a few things to change it up, but I get disappointed when the last measure of the two 'major repeats' is exactly identical to every other last-of-four-measures. The last measure should be when you think 'OK, time to do something unexpected... how about a different chord? How about I bring this melody all the way to the top and then drag it down? Could I add moar drums?'
... Hmm, that's about all I have atm. Keep composing and being crazy-cool-different!

Oh, and if this is for R&R, you'll probably want much puncher kicks and snares and stuff. Since they're looking for stuff you'd play at clubs and dance to, right? So you have to market to a slightly different audience is all. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it got rejected for not being 4/4 or dubstep XD But I will be excited if I am wrong, of course!

p.s. we should hang out

Thanks for the feedback!

First: Most people tell me that the drums sound weak; that's mostly because of the lack of compression/EQ on them.

Second: About that section at 2:40 - I'm planning on having a vocal stanza come in at the second 4 bars of that section, though I agree that variation would help (the main reason this track sounds repetitive is because of the lack of vocals).

Third: BP was more of the "club music" album. R&R is more going to based around DnB, hip-hop, and anything "stylish." However, Lavender has noted that songs are more going to be judged on "cleverness" rather than genre.

Fourth: This track is highly inspired by Stormwolf; if you've heard the guy's music it's pretty obvious.

(Also, regarding that last comment...Skype please?)

[Mesogears]

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/92108087/secon ... led%29.mp3

I've made a bit of progress on the track with EQ/Compression (on the drums and bass mostly). I've already recorded vocals, but I haven't finished processing them yet, so it's still instrumental.

Also: This song is now called "Second in Command."