by itroitnyah » 29 Apr 2017 17:27
Sometimes I come back to this site when I am feeling nostalgic. Usually it just happens when I first visit soundcloud once every year or so... And then I see some of the old artists I used to spend all day listening to and get in the downs when I learn they're not actively producing anymore... And then I come back to here and remember all the time I spent wasting my life away shitposting. 5 years. I eventually left the fandom and stopped keeping up to date with the show. Although I knew that I was no longer interested in the fandom some time before I got banned by Kyoga, it was merely the people I connected with on this site that kept me participating. And the timing on my ban just seemed right. All of the people I knew no longer actively posted and everybody else I didn't really care for or agree with. Once I was "out of the fandom" and disconnected from the site I really lost interest in music production, and what little wisp of creativity I had in the first place died with it. Despite this, I tried to pursue a career in audio production by getting my degree in precisely that. One whole school year went down the drain. I managed two whole classes this entire school year and have very little motivation to do anything related to school because I have no idea what I want to study. Instead, I work two part time jobs and live alone just catching up on movies and TV shows (Currently watching The Office) or videogames between jobs.
But every time I come back to this site I am overcome with this magical sensation that just washes over me. I feel a knot start to tighten in my throat and I just have to sort of sit and think for a while. All the carefree days browsing this board, going from subforum to subforum eagerly anticipating each new topic or reply. Chances to improve myself and help others improve. The massive debates and arguments that would be held over the simple things. The Brony documentary, the Equestrian Daily and each new episode of the show. And quite honestly, I am embarrassed. Ever since I left the community, I've stepped back and seen how absolutely gratuitous, disgusting and immature bronies can be. Their posts, interjections and comments have potential to be, and quite often are filthy and repugnant. Despite this I don't regret any of the time I spent or wasted in the fandom. I am admittedly still a degenerate myself, although in different ways. I've moved on and have different interests, hobbies and generally a different future.
So in a summary that would do my English teacher from last semester proud, I'm quite happy this site is still here, and that it's still (slightly) active for some reason. Coming back here using incognito mode so I don't get MLP related popups, no matter how much distaste I have for the community makes me feel good in a way. It brings me back to the good ol' days and reminds me of the people who came here and the enthusiasm I used to have for a hobby I no longer enjoy. I'm sure that in 3-4 years I'll look back at what I'm currently doing and reminisce about how these are the "gool ol' days" but that just seems to be the poetry of life. The past is always better than the present and the future is scary and uncertain. In the end, this site will always have a special spot in my heart, no matter how much I hate to admit it. I will always miss coming here to shitpost and banter with the other members. But I have so many things going on for me in the present and no longer have a place on these forums, nor the desire to be active. But maybe a handful of times throughout the coming years I will swing by this place just for the rush, because nostalgia is a hell of a drug. One day I may come back to find a "domain name for sale" redirect as the final person willing to run this site has given up and stopped paying for the server. And all I'll be left with are memories.
