<non-pony> <original> <probably WIP> Adagio

[Djeinus]

Named Adagio, because I couldn't find a better name.
https://soundcloud.com/djeinus/adagio

[Callenby]

In my opinion it's a start but still could use some work.

It begins promising enough but then after about thirty seconds becomes quite repetitive and it seems like it's missing a melody. To me it sounds like a chord progression with some accompaniment. A lot of the time the strings are just holding a single note and change exactly when the piano does. Don't be afraid to give the instruments more complex roles. There's some variation later on but not very much. Take advantage of the strings' expressive potential!

Are the parts when it becomes fortissimo (e.g. at 1:37) meant to take the listener by surprise? Because to me it instead felt a little jarring, as though there hadn't been enough buildup to make moments like that as effective as they could be. Maybe it's just the specific samples you used. I'm not sure.

Adding some syncopation, counterpoint, or both could help keep things from becoming too predictable. Secondary dominants can also do wonders for adding a sense of drive (if that's what you're going for). And if you want four and a half minute piece you might want to have it modulate at least once. A piece like this might benefit from having an ending that fades into silence rather than stopping all at once.

I would suggest just focusing on only the piano and one other instrument. Get the main melody and harmony hammered out between those two before worrying about adding additional strings. It's also worth experimenting with a longer and more varied chord progression.

I feel like I'm being overly harsh so let me reiterate that you have a solid foundation here. I just think that it hasn't reached its fullest potential yet.

[Djeinus]

No, no, you're not harsh at all! I appreciate your comments.