by Doctor Science » 22 Jul 2012 20:40
Pretty sweet! I feel like the original really needed this sort of arrangement.
I may just be imagining this, but it sounds like you've got some low ambiance that's panning back and forth, which feels a bit disorienting, but might be cool if brought out for effect for a little bit, then quieting it down, then centering it or eliminating it. I feel that the piece, while having a nice sound, is a little dull.
The chord progression in the original is pretty stale, IV-V-vi-I (F-G-a-C) all the way through. PinkiePieSwear keeps it interesting by changing word samples, adding and removing instruments/synths and changing the rhythms in the bass and drums. While you don't have any words to mess with, I think by taking instruments in and out, messing with the rhythm and articulations of the string chords, and using some more extreme dynamics would help the song more interesting. The lower range of the piece is also pretty empty throughout; adding in a string bass somewhere would add some variety to the song, make it feel more full, and also give you something to move around rhythmically should you desire. From what I can tell, the voices in your string accompaniment either don't move (which is fine) or go up from chord to chord. I think if you added some more contrary motion, it would help the chord progression feel a little less blocky. I think the piano is just a little too quiet; the strings seem to be overwhelming it somewhat.
I liked your rendition quite a bit, and look forward to hearing more like it from you!