by Princess Celestia » 14 Jul 2011 19:10
Oh.
It. is. ON.
My most faithful subject Senator Myth,
While you are validated in your concern, you have no need to fear, my little senator, you are safe in the cover of my wings. It is my royal duty to ensure the safety and well being of all my subjects. Peace, my child.
Or perhaps you question my benevolence? My authority? Do you think of me as a fool? Tell me, naive senator, when the darkness everlasting threatened your impoverished and pathetic existence, who was there to vanquish the devil? I was. Am I supposed to prove myself to you? I am your queen, your ruler, and your goddess! You do not command me. I command the heavens, and they obey! The very breath you take is a merciful gift from me, your benevolent mother, your virtuoso!
Listen well, infidel. This distasteful ingratitude will not be tolerated. If you ever, EVER question my omnipotence, you will wish you could cease to exist.
Your assignment still stands, I never said you had a choice. Do not disappoint me, Senator Myth, or I will f***ing end you. Get to work.
Your charitable and compassionate empress,
Princess Celestia
My dearest friend Overkillius,
I hope this letter finds you well! Your letter found me saturated in the joy of your success! Do not think that the rumor of your tests can escape my ears, my friend. Though I am sorry to hear of poor Derpy. Her worrisome antics will be sorely missed. Oh she's not dead? We can't leave any evidence now, can we Overkillius? You know what to do. Not a trace.
Do my worst? Are you volunteering as my new test subject? Though I call you my friend, little foal, your vain taunts do little to show that this feeling is mutual. Don't make it a habit. You should be grateful you caught me in a good mood. I've killed colts for lesser offenses.
Your most humble and honorable leader,
Princess Celestia
My dear subject Versilaryan,
Why must you trouble me with such trivial questions? I cannot be bothered to entertain your childish inquiries, I have important matters to attend to. If you must ask somepony, ask your cohort Kumquaticus. He appears to be quite an expert on the matter. I will hear no more of this foolishness.
Your wise and powerful ruler,
Princess Celestia
Good sir Makkon,
Your princess greets you warmly, no need to be so cordial. It's not as though you are in the presence of ROYALTY.
I too find your frivolous antics equally endearing. It is rumored that you are the host of a friendly gentleman's contest, is that true?
How quaint. I do love a good show.
Your superior (and don't you forget it),
Princess Celestia