The hugging/venting thread

[Acsii]

I don't agree with them either I was just correcting the definition given... As someone with schiz I can say it's not good for your subconscious to have a direct pathway to your conscious

[Nine Volt]

Ah, gotcha. Thanks for clarifying - they were making it sound like a mental disorder or something

[Freewave]

Should people FLIP out at other people about jokes or badly made comments? Likely not. Especially if they are made by young people. Friends and people can make mistakes and should be able to explain themsleves before having people cut them out of their lives. Intent means a whole lot.

[Acsii]

I would like to point out free wave that the joke was a rape joke... which everyone should know is very offensive and non-joke topic...

[Acsii]

Also I accepted her apology and stuff... now she's the one that's cut me off...

[S.P.P]

I had a poop today and it hurt. I need some kind of comforting. :/

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

I had a poop today and it hurt. I need some kind of comforting. :/

that happened to me once. Not pleasant.

[Facade]

finally he's gone it took him long enough...

[Freewave]

finally he's gone it took him long enough...

who? the poop?

[Facade]

a friend ive been having trouble with

[caprix snare]

I'm single again ):

Your message contains 19 characters. The minimum number of characters you need to enter is 25.

[S.P.P]

I know I've posted here too often, but I'm seriously sick of everything at this point. Nothing ever goes my way. I try to be as good a person as I possibly can but karma just continues to fuck me in the ass. Today for example, my college flash drive containing important stuff dies before I even have the time to back it up, I dropped a £20 note (which I desperately could do with because what litle money I ever have is not even nearly disposable) down a drain, I was soaked through by a bus driving through a fucking massive puddle at 50 leaving me cold and wet all day and ultimately making me ill, and to top it off my mental problems have been the worst they've ever been. That's all just today. I dread having to get up every morning because I can't deal with day to day life. I don't WANT to deal with every day life. Taking to people I dislike, doing things I hate, feeling like gutter filth the whole time.

My self esteem has hit rock bottom too. I feel I can't do anything right anymore, and what I don't mess up still isn't good enough. I've basically stopped making music because every time I try and write something it sounds like total ass and I feel whole new levels of defenerate. So now I've exhausted every possibility of being good at something and now I don't know wtf I'm doing with my life. I genuinely do not want to continue living. As cliché as it sounds and I hate saying it, it's how I'm feeling right now. Not only do I feel lower than low, I'm sick of being beset by various forms of what I can only describe as mental torture, and feelings of total worthlessness and pointlessness. So yeah, this is how I feel, and that would be the awful selfish avenue I would take if I weren't such a coward.

I don't particularly want advice of sympathy or anything, I just needed to get stuff out I guess .. Again ..

[Freewave]

I know I've posted here too often, but I'm seriously sick of everything at this point. Nothing ever goes my way. I try to be as good a person as I possibly can but karma just continues to fuck me in the ass. Today for example, my college flash drive containing important stuff dies before I even have the time to back it up, I dropped a £20 note (which I desperately could do with because what litle money I ever have is not even nearly disposable) down a drain, I was soaked through by a bus driving through a fucking massive puddle at 50 leaving me cold and wet all day and ultimately making me ill, and to top it off my mental problems have been the worst they've ever been. That's all just today. I dread having to get up every morning because I can't deal with day to day life. I don't WANT to deal with every day life. Taking to people I dislike, doing things I hate, feeling like gutter filth the whole time.

My self esteem has hit rock bottom too. I feel I can't do anything right anymore, and what I don't mess up still isn't good enough. I've basically stopped making music because every time I try and write something it sounds like total ass and I feel whole new levels of defenerate. So now I've exhausted every possibility of being good at something and now I don't know wtf I'm doing with my life. I genuinely do not want to continue living. As cliché as it sounds and I hate saying it, it's how I'm feeling right now. Not only do I feel lower than low, I'm sick of being beset by various forms of what I can only describe as mental torture, and feelings of total worthlessness and pointlessness. So yeah, this is how I feel, and that would be the awful selfish avenue I would take if I weren't such a coward.

I don't particularly want advice of sympathy or anything, I just needed to get stuff out I guess .. Again ..

Hang in there man. part of the most important thing is to get out of the dumps and just feel better. Sometimes listening to melancholy music is the answer because it speaks to you, sometimes its not as it just keeps you in that limbo. I recommend the smiths regardless as there's truth in those words.



Others have felt the same way

Certainly do not try to throw in the towel as you're tougher then that. Don't take that road. Plz.

[topitmunkeydog]

Wow, tough luck, bro. But after all, it is Friday the 13th, so I'm sure the worst of it will be over :) just remember to stay strong because you can get through whatever happens to you :3

[Facade]

i dont like thinking... when i start i just cant stop until sudden realizations of how much of a fucking failure i am just keep running through my head until... until... oh fuck it

i cant stand this day after day... until i die this is how its going to be and theres nothing i can do to change it... i dont care when people pick on me but when multiple people look down at me even friends ive known for a long time its just like... really? maybe i am a failure...

people always ask me why i smoke... its just to get my mind off of life because i cant stand it... everything about my life is just screams FAILURE... honestly i hope i get cancer and die... im so much of a failure i bet i wouldnt even be able to pull the trigger if i want to...

and then it happens... like a tidal wave in and out... depression... then emotional hardening... never ending its like im almost a fucking stone by now...

what caused this? i had everything a kid could want but yet i didnt care i just always felt out off place... and that grew on me now i feel like no one wants me...

21 please come sooner......

[Facade]

i looked in a mirror today... i almost cried because i couldn't believe it was me i was looking at... am i really that pathetic...

[S.P.P]

i looked in a mirror today... i almost cried because i couldn't believe it was me i was looking at... am i really that pathetic...

i dont like thinking... when i start i just cant stop until sudden realizations of how much of a fucking failure i am just keep running through my head until... until... oh fuck it

i cant stand this day after day... until i die this is how its going to be and theres nothing i can do to change it... i dont care when people pick on me but when multiple people look down at me even friends ive known for a long time its just like... really? maybe i am a failure...

people always ask me why i smoke... its just to get my mind off of life because i cant stand it... everything about my life is just screams FAILURE... honestly i hope i get cancer and die... im so much of a failure i bet i wouldnt even be able to pull the trigger if i want to...

and then it happens... like a tidal wave in and out... depression... then emotional hardening... never ending its like im almost a fucking stone by now...

what caused this? i had everything a kid could want but yet i didnt care i just always felt out off place... and that grew on me now i feel like no one wants me...

21 please come sooner......

You're better than you think you are. You're surrounded here by people who love you, and it truly wouldn't be the same with out you.
You may think your friends IRL are looking down on you, but I can almost guarantee you're not. Because you feel like your not worth much, you become paranoid that other people think the same.
I smoke to take my mind off stuff aswell, there's something very calming about being able to just go and have a cigarette and just chill for 5 minutes. It's human nature to find a destressor like that.
As for "waves of depression", and emotional hardening; it's not fair that you should have deal with these feelings and harden your emotions as a defense mechanism. You should talk to people. If not professionals, then atleast friends and people who care about you. I'm always open to talk about stuff no matter what (and that goes for everyone else in here too!), and I'm sure other people would be too.

Just hang in there man, and stay strong. <3

[Facade]

woah people smoke in england o:

yea getting a little better thanks

[Pickslide1992]

I think I've hit my breaking point. I feel like quitting. I haven't made a song in a while, and I bet people are happy about that. Everything I do sucks ass. My latest project got critically slammed and I'm about done.

Here's that project, by the way. I did the music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... jXDBEEmFlA

It's because of this God forsaken abomination that's the final nail in the coffin.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Dude, there is no direct path to suceeding. It sounds cliche as hell but it's the truth. You gotta accept that you're gonna fail a few times before you get it right, it works like that for everyone. What's important is that you don't let it stop you. Take a break if you need to but you're not gonna acheive anything by quitting altogether.

Remember, failure is just feedback for the next attempt.

[Ocular]

I was sliding on a wall with my arms stretched out and I stabbed myself in the nipple with a lightswitch by accident

Don't ask, just help me

This hurts

[Bloo]

It's starting to stop now but it's been almost an hour since it started. Fuuuuuck that hurt.

That sounds awful!! When I get a sunburn, I either rub some lotion on it, or if I have it, Aloe Vera. My mom had an aloe plant in the house when I was young and any time I got a burn, she would break a tendril off the plant and rub the sap stuff on the burn. It made it feel so much better.


-------

Ok uhh I guess I can rant here. It's not like I know anyone anyhow >w<

I feel lukewarm. Like really half assed. Even though I'm trying my hardest at making music and I think I have all these really good ideas, I can never execute them properly and all the things that I make sound really gross like there's a bunch of stuff missing. I'm wondering if I just don't have the proper tools to make the songs into what I want, or if I'm just mediocre at it. It's not even an "I'm horrible and I suck" because I know that I'm better than some. But at the same time I get so sad because I'm so much worse than others and it's ESPECIALLY disheartening when I know that I'm not as good as I want to be nor do I know if I'll ever BE where I want to be.
I've never had a talent in singing as far as I'm aware. Sure I've always been musically blessed, but I always enjoyed singing and lyrics the most. It seems that people pick out the thing they are most attracted to when listening to a song and for me it happens to be the lyrics and the vocal melodies. Perhaps it's my drive to be on center stage, perhaps it's because I love to be noticed, who knows? I do know that I really love it when lyrics can move people and make people feel something. I want to do that too. It's really hard for me to listen to female vocalists because I get so dang jealous. My friend just put out a song with a female singer and tagged me in a post with a link to it because I knew he wanted me to listen. I tried really hard, honestly I did, but I couldn't get through even the first half because the jealousy made me sick to my stomach. She had such a LOVELY voice and it made me feel awful in comparison. It hurt me so much because I was proud of my friend for making such a lovely song, and yet I couldn't listen to it. I get...odd comments about my voice. I can never tell if they're a complement or an insult. To be quite honest, I've always had a crushing fear of people complementing me, but my doing so they actually are meaning the exact opposite. People say that my voice is unique, and I know it is. But what kind? Good unique? Bad unique? I've been put down time and time again because people have told me that they don't want to listen to me sing and I am awful at it, but then I turn around and people ask me why I stopped singing.
It was only when I got into the fandom and discovered the whole music side of it that I really started to become confident in my singing skills (if there are any I'm still so unconvinced I have them regardless of what people say). There were so many people who told me "Good Job! Keep going!" It was such a nice thing to hear for once rather than "I don't like your singing, please stop I can't stand listening to you" or "I can sing so much better than you! Listen! *proceeds to sing something off key*" Even if I was bad or still am, people pushed me on because it was what I liked to do. Music has always been a very special thing to me, even when I deny it or try and run away from it because I'm scared. It's something I've understood since I was very little. And yet what good does it do me if I can't even convince myself I have something worth working towards? I know that when I hear people who are amazing, I should strive to get there someday too, like I did with my drawing (same story except without the mean words). However it does the exact opposite. I hear someone with talent who is doing what they love to do just like I am, and I can't help but feel jealous. I can't help but feel worthless inside. Even though I tell everyone that yeah I can do it! It's only because I'm verbally vomiting complements that other people have given me. I don't actually believe it myself. The worst part is, my only outlet for it is to create more. When I make a song, no matter how bad I think it is, I feel better. Better about myself and better about life.
This leads me to the problem that I came in here to rant about when I saw the title but ended up barfing up all this other crap instead. I have musicians block. I have no idea what to write a song about. I've been searching for things, re-watching episodes and being introspective, I've been scouring EQD and Reddit and Youtube and Facebook and more, I've even meandered through here a little which is something I haven't done in ages (almost a year now). And yet there's nothing. All I have is this feeling that I'm never going to be good enough. That I'll never have those friends that have things in common. Ponies that I can draw my character with, laughing and having fun. I guess in short, I'm sorry I've been gone and I continuously disappear, how the hell do I make some friends?

[Callenby]

Hello, Bloo! Welcome (back)!

I just want to say that I know what you're feeling. Hell, there's probably not a soul here who hasn't had the same experience at least once. It kind of comes with being an artist. But I can really only speak for myself, so let me say that I've been at this whole music thing for more or less a year now and I'm still nowhere near the type of musician I want to be. There are moments where I get stuck in the "I can't do anything original" or "I'll never be half the composer this person is" mindset. Fortunately, though, I've noticed that they happen less the more I learn about the craft and build up my confidence. Before we can be great artists, we must merely be good ones.

But I was also taught a very important lesson: do not compare yourself to other artists. It's one of the most counterproductive and self-sabotaging things you can do. It's a trap I've fallen into multiple times and it has never done me any good. Never. All it did was demoralize me and distract me from my work. No matter how similar you consider yourself to another, you are entirely different people and their training/experiences/motivations will not be the same as yours. And that's perfectly okay. It's one thing to be inspired by another artist's work but it's quite another to use them to judge yourself. Fine, so someone is "better" than you (or so you believe, even though art is largely subjective), but that's not what matters. What matters isn't how far along the trail we are, but whether we are still moving forward.

There's another thing which might be part of it: I don't think you're having enough fun. That probably sounds really trite, but I mean it. Making fan art shouldn't be such so stressful. We do it because we want to show our appreciation for something and to share our work with other fans, right? Many of us have musical career aspirations but don't feel that we're ready to enter the professional world yet so we build up our skills here. You hope to be a better artist - that's great! It's a very noble quality but before that can happen we first need to (often very slowly) hone our skills and learn as much as we can. This site allows for just that, while at the same time having fun and making friends (as goofy as that may sound). This isn't a conservatory nor is it boot camp; it's an easygoing community of artists who wish to be better. So read through the posts here, ask questions, do whatever it is you need in order to be a better artist. I've posted it before, but it's too good not to share again. It's a quote from Ira Glass:



If you're not inspired to write pony songs then don't. By no means do you have to make your songs pony in order to stay here, if that has been worrying you. It's more important for you follow your inspiration. If you're not feeling inspired at all, then just step away for a while and see how you feel. Knowing when to take breaks is just as important as the work itself. If making music isn't what you want to do, then don't make music anymore. Or if you just don't want to pursue it on a professional level, then don't do that. No pressure either way. Every artist must figure out for him or herself what it is that drives them. Don't feel that you're letting anyone down by walking away because art is about expressing whatever is inside of us. Remember, if you didn't feel anything making it then they won't feel anything listening to it.

Long story short, don't stress yourself so much and focus more on making friends and having fun. Everything else will come in time.

Anyway, I hope some of that could help.

[Bloo]

Wow wow wow wow!! Thank you so much Callenby!! All the stuff you said is true in some aspect. But seriously, thank you so much for taking the time to write all of that. Everything you've written, whether it is exactly my situation or no, has some sort of meaning to me.

Last night and after reading this, I was doing some thinking. I don't believe my problem to be the making of the fan music itself. I've never had a problem with it, in fact, it's always been a structure or a theme to use that helps me get my thoughts onto paper more coherently. What the problem was (or maybe still is) is that I am having some trouble dealing with my emotions currently because my typical response is to pretend that they're not there. Which is irritating because all of my music stems from what I'm feeling and my experiences with the world. Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out >w< Lots of introspection last night certainly helped.

Oh and here's another sidenote: Yes I do sometimes do the wrong thing and compare myself to other artists, but it doesn't happen to often because usually I'm too busy looking up to them. The problem I have, well maybe it's not a problem but it's definitely something that makes me feel uncertain, is that I don't sound like anyone. My voice is, as they say, unique and I haven't found another semi or popular singer that sounds like me. I don't really know anyone who does. I see people who, when I hear them sing, sound slightly or very similarly to another singer. I suppose I should see it as a good thing, however sometimes it's very troubling and I get hung up on it.

But seriously thank you so much. I needed all of that.

[Callenby]

Always happy to help. It's good to hear that I've helped because a lot of the time I'm just full of hot air.

As for creating something that stems directly from your emotions, in my experience that has been the most difficult part of making music. It's definitely a skill that must be acquired, not something that most of us were born with. It's something I still have yet to master but I'll get better at it, and so will you!

What I would recommend in the meantime is to take a song (or songs) that you absolutely love, and then copy it. Seriously, copy it as closely as you can. Don't worry about copyright or anything because this isn't in order to create a song. The point is to find out what exactly makes it so meaningful to you. That is the part that it's okay to (and really should be) copying and putting into your own work. Ask yourself things like "Why does this song structure seem so right to me? What is the chord they used right here that makes me feel such joy/sorrow/whatever? How does this song play with my expectations? What is this fascinating timbre made of, exactly?". Many things go into the pieces of music we love (including the more generic ones) so knowing as much as you can about the process will give you a bigger set of tools when you do your own writing.

Also, here is a free online class about songwriting that begins October 14th. I've taken it before so I can vouch for how helpful it is. It deals a lot with structure and writing lyrics and the professor is awesome; he's the kind of person who you know was born to teach.

I'm afraid that I'm not extremely well versed with singers or their styles, sorry about that :/ But there are some singers around here, so I would definitely seek them out.