<Pony><original><electronic><Colgate> Dentist's Lament

[ChromeDash]

https://soundcloud.com/chrome_dash/dentists-lament-instrumental

A little thing I had been working on for about three days, maybe about four-five hours total. I want to get a microphone soon so I can do the vocals, but can I get some feedback on the track beforehand? :3
I feel like the bass shouldn't be the opening instrument, as it is a somewhat dirty sound to stand alone in the style I want, but you can tell me what you think, and anything else you can think of would be greatly appreciated!

[Alycs]

I actually really liked the sound you started with, but the much brighter synths and piano you bring in later clash with the "dirty" bass really badly. The area after 1:16 is pretty good, but the bass kinda fades into the background where you can't hear it, and I feel that in this section it would work best as kinda a focus point.

Most of the work for this song is really making the instruments. You have a really great bass sound, but the other instruments are so much "brighter" that it ends up seeming kinda confusing. Maybe substitute the bright synths for supersaws or some slightly distorted sine waves so they fit with the darker feeling you had been building up at the beginning.

[ChromeDash]

Well, the deal is I'm not trying to go for a dark tone. It's supposed to be kind of bright, which is why I thought that it wasn't fitting. The chorus, I suppose, is supposed to be sort of "dark," but the sound of dark connotates that I want it to be foreboding, when I want the chorus to be powerful, so to speak. Tambre was never my strong suit, just notes and rhythms.

[ChromeDash]

Also, bear in mind that, when they are added, the vocals are supposed to be the focus. The bass and everything else is support, and the lead synth, which is at the forefront at the moment, will be toned down a lot to move out of the way of the words.