Congratulations on your first post here!
Personally, I thought the song was great. It seems to me that you captured the genre well, and knew what you were going for as you put the song together. One thing that stood out to me that might be a bit odd, though, was the slightly abrupt stop in the music from 0:31 to 0:35, or the silence from 2:38 to 2:43. Perhaps they're just a smidgeon too long, or the first one needs more than just the Fluttershy sample accompanying it. I think I understand what you were going for there, but maybe it could use at least some sort of melody along with it to keep the flow going, y'know? Or maybe the first one just needs a fade out or something so it's less abrupt. I'm not sure which solution is best; I guess it's something that just needs to be experimented with.
Also, the part beginning around 3:27 with Fluttershy sounds higher pitched. Was this the result of an attempt to keep the samples with the tempo of the music? If so, there are some great tutorials on how to do so without messing with the pitch. I recently learned how to do that sort of thing on my FL Studio from
this video on YouTube about how to remix. The part I'm talking about starts at around the one minute mark, and if you use FL Studio as well, the entirety of the video is very helpful too. If you don't use FL Studio, I'm sure there are other nice tutorials out there for whatever you use. I believe the pitch adjustment could really help make that part even better.
Other than that, I'd like to say that the YouTube video was cool too! Both the art and the visual effects were very nice. I hope you decide to stick around the MLR forums here and keep working with music, I'd like to see what you're able to come up with. And sorry about this post being so long, I got a bit carried away and stuff. Hope I helped in some way!