The reely good joke thread!!!

[FLAOFEI]

ALL forums need this thread!
Write ALL your REALY GOOD JOKES HERE!!!!!!!

If the jokes have spoilers, just in white font colour so you have to hi light it to see it.

I start!!!

What do you call an apartment you can run through in 10 seconds?

A ten seconds flat!!!


Also, the 'good' jokes thing was ironic. These jokes are so bad they become good!

Edit: I removed the thing about posting with upside-down text, since it doesn't work with speech synthesisers and everybody uses white font colour instead anyway.

[itroitnyah]

What don't you eat for lunch? Breakfast and dinner!

[ExoBassTix]

What's the difference between a woman and a refrigerator?
ǝpısuı ʇɐǝɯ s,ǝɹǝɥʇ uǝɥʍ uɐoɯ ʇ,usǝop ɹoʇɐɹǝƃıɹɟǝɹ ∀

[topitmunkeydog]

OK I came up with this myself:
What did the Italian waiter say when the customer left the table without eating any bread?
FOCACCIA BREAD

What did Prince Paris say before he shot Achilles in the heel?
AH KEEL HEES TENDON

yeah, they work a lot better if you say them out loud

[Nine Volt]

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
The Holocaust

My new party trick - I swallow 2 pieces of string and a few hours later they come out of my ass tied together. I shit you knot.

I used to hate facial hair. But it started to grow on me.

What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent ft. Nickelback

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?
It was soda pressing.

What do you call someone with no body and a nose?
Nobody knows.

[HMage]

I'm an atheist musician — I use reason and logic.

[Nine Volt]

I'm an atheist musician — I use reason and logic.

Dave?

[Motivfs]

What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer.

..Yeah.. I'll just head that way..

[CaptainFluffatun]

If Rainbow Dash made music, she would live on a... !!!SOUNDCLOUD!!!
If Big Mac made music he would post it on Eeyyuptube
If Twilight wasnt such a BOOKfACE she would be on FaceBook
If Octavia made friends at a summer camp, it would be a BandCamp!

[FLAOFEI]

What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer.

..Yeah.. I'll just head that way..

Halp gais! I dont get it! Im drummer!

An irishman walks out of a bar.

-Wanna hear a joke about sodium?
-is it any good?
-Na. It's a pretty lame joke anyway. Wanna hear one about Potasium instead?
-K

Neon walks in to a bar
The bartender says 'we dont serve nobel gases here'
Neon dosnt react.

Why did Iron Man pick up cooking?
Caus hes the FeMale

I think I should stop for now.
All my good chemestry jokes argon.

[Makkon]

My fiance laughed pretty hard at this one.

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.

[ghelded_kultz]

Oooo, I got a good joke.

The US Congress.

[runs away before this thread gets derailed]

[Alycs]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

</thread>

[CDPP]

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

So, a man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch".

[Bare Back]

What has three legs and a cunt?
Drum stool

What do you say to a women with two black eyes?
Nothing you told her twice

[ExoBassTix]

Where does a Belgian send his film roll?
A developing country.

[TheMalenEst]

Why are skeletons perverts?

Because they all have boners.

[ExoBassTix]

What do you have to do when your mother-in-law walks out of the kitchen?

Shorten the leash.

[Nine Volt]

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month.

[ExoBassTix]

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't return to sender?

A stick.

[FLAOFEI]

Oh MAN! EXO!!!! White text! Plz!

Why do electricians hate velodrome races?

Caus it's a SHORT CIRCUIT!!!!!!!!!! HUE HUE HUE

[ExoBassTix]

Oh MAN! EXO!!!! White text! Plz!

Did I miss a memo or something?
But okay, sure, message received.

[CDPP]

So, a dyslexic walks up to a bra..

[topitmunkeydog]

I'm getting all these from here http://playitagaindamon.tripod.com/Joke ... ic%20Jokes

Q: What does new age music sound like played backwards?
A: New age music.

Q: What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?
A: Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

Q: What happens when you play country western music backwards?
A: You get your pickup truck back, your dog returns to life, and you get back your job at the car wash.

Q: What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?
A: He decomposes.

[Ocular]

Two Latvia men look at clouds
One man see unreachable dream
Other man see potato
They look at same cloud