The hugging/venting thread

[Acsii]

I don't agree with them either I was just correcting the definition given... As someone with schiz I can say it's not good for your subconscious to have a direct pathway to your conscious

[Nine Volt]

Ah, gotcha. Thanks for clarifying - they were making it sound like a mental disorder or something

[Freewave]

Should people FLIP out at other people about jokes or badly made comments? Likely not. Especially if they are made by young people. Friends and people can make mistakes and should be able to explain themsleves before having people cut them out of their lives. Intent means a whole lot.

[Acsii]

I would like to point out free wave that the joke was a rape joke... which everyone should know is very offensive and non-joke topic...

[Acsii]

Also I accepted her apology and stuff... now she's the one that's cut me off...

[S.P.P]

I had a poop today and it hurt. I need some kind of comforting. :/

[Jokeblue]

I had a poop today and it hurt. I need some kind of comforting. :/

Owch. I'd comfort but its embarrassing.

The jist of it involves undiagnosed stomach problem, shitting blood occasionally, and colonoscopys. Which wasn't fun.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

I had a poop today and it hurt. I need some kind of comforting. :/

that happened to me once. Not pleasant.

[Facade]

finally he's gone it took him long enough...

[Freewave]

finally he's gone it took him long enough...

who? the poop?

[Facade]

a friend ive been having trouble with

[caprix snare]

I'm single again ):

Your message contains 19 characters. The minimum number of characters you need to enter is 25.

[S.P.P]

I know I've posted here too often, but I'm seriously sick of everything at this point. Nothing ever goes my way. I try to be as good a person as I possibly can but karma just continues to fuck me in the ass. Today for example, my college flash drive containing important stuff dies before I even have the time to back it up, I dropped a £20 note (which I desperately could do with because what litle money I ever have is not even nearly disposable) down a drain, I was soaked through by a bus driving through a fucking massive puddle at 50 leaving me cold and wet all day and ultimately making me ill, and to top it off my mental problems have been the worst they've ever been. That's all just today. I dread having to get up every morning because I can't deal with day to day life. I don't WANT to deal with every day life. Taking to people I dislike, doing things I hate, feeling like gutter filth the whole time.

My self esteem has hit rock bottom too. I feel I can't do anything right anymore, and what I don't mess up still isn't good enough. I've basically stopped making music because every time I try and write something it sounds like total ass and I feel whole new levels of defenerate. So now I've exhausted every possibility of being good at something and now I don't know wtf I'm doing with my life. I genuinely do not want to continue living. As cliché as it sounds and I hate saying it, it's how I'm feeling right now. Not only do I feel lower than low, I'm sick of being beset by various forms of what I can only describe as mental torture, and feelings of total worthlessness and pointlessness. So yeah, this is how I feel, and that would be the awful selfish avenue I would take if I weren't such a coward.

I don't particularly want advice of sympathy or anything, I just needed to get stuff out I guess .. Again ..

[Freewave]

I know I've posted here too often, but I'm seriously sick of everything at this point. Nothing ever goes my way. I try to be as good a person as I possibly can but karma just continues to fuck me in the ass. Today for example, my college flash drive containing important stuff dies before I even have the time to back it up, I dropped a £20 note (which I desperately could do with because what litle money I ever have is not even nearly disposable) down a drain, I was soaked through by a bus driving through a fucking massive puddle at 50 leaving me cold and wet all day and ultimately making me ill, and to top it off my mental problems have been the worst they've ever been. That's all just today. I dread having to get up every morning because I can't deal with day to day life. I don't WANT to deal with every day life. Taking to people I dislike, doing things I hate, feeling like gutter filth the whole time.

My self esteem has hit rock bottom too. I feel I can't do anything right anymore, and what I don't mess up still isn't good enough. I've basically stopped making music because every time I try and write something it sounds like total ass and I feel whole new levels of defenerate. So now I've exhausted every possibility of being good at something and now I don't know wtf I'm doing with my life. I genuinely do not want to continue living. As cliché as it sounds and I hate saying it, it's how I'm feeling right now. Not only do I feel lower than low, I'm sick of being beset by various forms of what I can only describe as mental torture, and feelings of total worthlessness and pointlessness. So yeah, this is how I feel, and that would be the awful selfish avenue I would take if I weren't such a coward.

I don't particularly want advice of sympathy or anything, I just needed to get stuff out I guess .. Again ..

Hang in there man. part of the most important thing is to get out of the dumps and just feel better. Sometimes listening to melancholy music is the answer because it speaks to you, sometimes its not as it just keeps you in that limbo. I recommend the smiths regardless as there's truth in those words.



Others have felt the same way

Certainly do not try to throw in the towel as you're tougher then that. Don't take that road. Plz.

[topitmunkeydog]

Wow, tough luck, bro. But after all, it is Friday the 13th, so I'm sure the worst of it will be over :) just remember to stay strong because you can get through whatever happens to you :3

[Facade]

i dont like thinking... when i start i just cant stop until sudden realizations of how much of a fucking failure i am just keep running through my head until... until... oh fuck it

i cant stand this day after day... until i die this is how its going to be and theres nothing i can do to change it... i dont care when people pick on me but when multiple people look down at me even friends ive known for a long time its just like... really? maybe i am a failure...

people always ask me why i smoke... its just to get my mind off of life because i cant stand it... everything about my life is just screams FAILURE... honestly i hope i get cancer and die... im so much of a failure i bet i wouldnt even be able to pull the trigger if i want to...

and then it happens... like a tidal wave in and out... depression... then emotional hardening... never ending its like im almost a fucking stone by now...

what caused this? i had everything a kid could want but yet i didnt care i just always felt out off place... and that grew on me now i feel like no one wants me...

21 please come sooner......

[Facade]

i looked in a mirror today... i almost cried because i couldn't believe it was me i was looking at... am i really that pathetic...

[S.P.P]

i looked in a mirror today... i almost cried because i couldn't believe it was me i was looking at... am i really that pathetic...

i dont like thinking... when i start i just cant stop until sudden realizations of how much of a fucking failure i am just keep running through my head until... until... oh fuck it

i cant stand this day after day... until i die this is how its going to be and theres nothing i can do to change it... i dont care when people pick on me but when multiple people look down at me even friends ive known for a long time its just like... really? maybe i am a failure...

people always ask me why i smoke... its just to get my mind off of life because i cant stand it... everything about my life is just screams FAILURE... honestly i hope i get cancer and die... im so much of a failure i bet i wouldnt even be able to pull the trigger if i want to...

and then it happens... like a tidal wave in and out... depression... then emotional hardening... never ending its like im almost a fucking stone by now...

what caused this? i had everything a kid could want but yet i didnt care i just always felt out off place... and that grew on me now i feel like no one wants me...

21 please come sooner......

You're better than you think you are. You're surrounded here by people who love you, and it truly wouldn't be the same with out you.
You may think your friends IRL are looking down on you, but I can almost guarantee you're not. Because you feel like your not worth much, you become paranoid that other people think the same.
I smoke to take my mind off stuff aswell, there's something very calming about being able to just go and have a cigarette and just chill for 5 minutes. It's human nature to find a destressor like that.
As for "waves of depression", and emotional hardening; it's not fair that you should have deal with these feelings and harden your emotions as a defense mechanism. You should talk to people. If not professionals, then atleast friends and people who care about you. I'm always open to talk about stuff no matter what (and that goes for everyone else in here too!), and I'm sure other people would be too.

Just hang in there man, and stay strong. <3

[Facade]

woah people smoke in england o:

yea getting a little better thanks

[Pickslide1992]

I think I've hit my breaking point. I feel like quitting. I haven't made a song in a while, and I bet people are happy about that. Everything I do sucks ass. My latest project got critically slammed and I'm about done.

Here's that project, by the way. I did the music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... jXDBEEmFlA

It's because of this God forsaken abomination that's the final nail in the coffin.

[Mr. Bigglesworth]

Dude, there is no direct path to suceeding. It sounds cliche as hell but it's the truth. You gotta accept that you're gonna fail a few times before you get it right, it works like that for everyone. What's important is that you don't let it stop you. Take a break if you need to but you're not gonna acheive anything by quitting altogether.

Remember, failure is just feedback for the next attempt.

[Ocular]

I was sliding on a wall with my arms stretched out and I stabbed myself in the nipple with a lightswitch by accident

Don't ask, just help me

This hurts

[Jokeblue]

I got kinda sunburnt the other day but for some reason today my sunburn is itchy as all fucking hell and I can't scratch it and I can't stop it it just keeps itching and burning and it really really hurts. It's like my whole back is burning all at once and I can't stop it and it just won't stop hurting.

I seriously barely got sunburnt but I am literally spasming from the pain help me this really hurts

[Jokeblue]

It's starting to stop now but it's been almost an hour since it started. Fuuuuuck that hurt.

[Bloo]

It's starting to stop now but it's been almost an hour since it started. Fuuuuuck that hurt.

That sounds awful!! When I get a sunburn, I either rub some lotion on it, or if I have it, Aloe Vera. My mom had an aloe plant in the house when I was young and any time I got a burn, she would break a tendril off the plant and rub the sap stuff on the burn. It made it feel so much better.


-------

Ok uhh I guess I can rant here. It's not like I know anyone anyhow >w<

I feel lukewarm. Like really half assed. Even though I'm trying my hardest at making music and I think I have all these really good ideas, I can never execute them properly and all the things that I make sound really gross like there's a bunch of stuff missing. I'm wondering if I just don't have the proper tools to make the songs into what I want, or if I'm just mediocre at it. It's not even an "I'm horrible and I suck" because I know that I'm better than some. But at the same time I get so sad because I'm so much worse than others and it's ESPECIALLY disheartening when I know that I'm not as good as I want to be nor do I know if I'll ever BE where I want to be.
I've never had a talent in singing as far as I'm aware. Sure I've always been musically blessed, but I always enjoyed singing and lyrics the most. It seems that people pick out the thing they are most attracted to when listening to a song and for me it happens to be the lyrics and the vocal melodies. Perhaps it's my drive to be on center stage, perhaps it's because I love to be noticed, who knows? I do know that I really love it when lyrics can move people and make people feel something. I want to do that too. It's really hard for me to listen to female vocalists because I get so dang jealous. My friend just put out a song with a female singer and tagged me in a post with a link to it because I knew he wanted me to listen. I tried really hard, honestly I did, but I couldn't get through even the first half because the jealousy made me sick to my stomach. She had such a LOVELY voice and it made me feel awful in comparison. It hurt me so much because I was proud of my friend for making such a lovely song, and yet I couldn't listen to it. I get...odd comments about my voice. I can never tell if they're a complement or an insult. To be quite honest, I've always had a crushing fear of people complementing me, but my doing so they actually are meaning the exact opposite. People say that my voice is unique, and I know it is. But what kind? Good unique? Bad unique? I've been put down time and time again because people have told me that they don't want to listen to me sing and I am awful at it, but then I turn around and people ask me why I stopped singing.
It was only when I got into the fandom and discovered the whole music side of it that I really started to become confident in my singing skills (if there are any I'm still so unconvinced I have them regardless of what people say). There were so many people who told me "Good Job! Keep going!" It was such a nice thing to hear for once rather than "I don't like your singing, please stop I can't stand listening to you" or "I can sing so much better than you! Listen! *proceeds to sing something off key*" Even if I was bad or still am, people pushed me on because it was what I liked to do. Music has always been a very special thing to me, even when I deny it or try and run away from it because I'm scared. It's something I've understood since I was very little. And yet what good does it do me if I can't even convince myself I have something worth working towards? I know that when I hear people who are amazing, I should strive to get there someday too, like I did with my drawing (same story except without the mean words). However it does the exact opposite. I hear someone with talent who is doing what they love to do just like I am, and I can't help but feel jealous. I can't help but feel worthless inside. Even though I tell everyone that yeah I can do it! It's only because I'm verbally vomiting complements that other people have given me. I don't actually believe it myself. The worst part is, my only outlet for it is to create more. When I make a song, no matter how bad I think it is, I feel better. Better about myself and better about life.
This leads me to the problem that I came in here to rant about when I saw the title but ended up barfing up all this other crap instead. I have musicians block. I have no idea what to write a song about. I've been searching for things, re-watching episodes and being introspective, I've been scouring EQD and Reddit and Youtube and Facebook and more, I've even meandered through here a little which is something I haven't done in ages (almost a year now). And yet there's nothing. All I have is this feeling that I'm never going to be good enough. That I'll never have those friends that have things in common. Ponies that I can draw my character with, laughing and having fun. I guess in short, I'm sorry I've been gone and I continuously disappear, how the hell do I make some friends?