The reely good joke thread!!!

[JSynth]

What do you call a musician who doesn't know what he's doing?

Give him two sticks, put him in the back and call him a drummer!

What do you do with a drummer who doesn't know what he is doing?

Take away one stick, put him in the front and call him a conductor!

[FLAOFEI]

What do you call a musician who doesn't know what he's doing?

Give him two sticks, put him in the back and call him a drummer!

Well FAQ2!

What do you do with a drummer who doesn't know what he is doing?

Take away one stick, put him in the front and call him a conductor!

I have had an experience like this.
I can relate to that.

What did the guitar guy tell the drummer?
Beat it!
How did the drummer reply?
With a kick!

What happens if you give an IDM musician a beat?
They break it!

Why do singers record in cars?
Caus they need the auto-tune

What is the fanciest instrument?
Drum kit, it has a high-hat >:3

Why are guitar players sick people?
Their instruments wear string, and at some time or another, every guitar player will finger A minor! YOU SICK BASTARDS!!!

[Nine Volt]

these jokes are getting punny

why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side

False. Chickens do not have the intelligence required to choose to cross the road. It was pure chance.

[JSynth]

I came up with this stupid one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
The world may never know.
Why did the dog cross the road?
He was chasing the chicken.

Wasn't this supposed to be a good joke thread?

[Magnitude Zero]

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt

[topitmunkeydog]

WHAT DO YOU CALL NEGATIVE ONE SITTING ALONE IN AN EMPTY ROOM
OVERNUMEROUSNESS
YES IT IS A WORD AND THE JOKE MAKES SENSE

(yeah I don't get it either...)

[Magnitude Zero]

What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt

dohohohohohohohohoHOHOHOHOHOHOHHOhohohoho

yeah found that on a milk carton so you know it's legit

[FLAOFEI]

Wasn't this supposed to be a good joke thread?

No

How did JSynth cross the road?
He J-walked

Why did JSynth cross the road?
Caus there was a crazy hobo chaising him

Why was there a crazy hobo chaising JSynth?
He liked Mocking Jays


Yeah, these puns are bad!

[ExoBassTix]

Come to think of it, this is a joke thread, right? And not a riddle thread

Hitting on a girl 101:
There's a party in my mouth, wanna come?

[FLAOFEI]

Hitting on a girl 101:
There's a party in my mouth, wanna come?

Hey... Exo... Hey Exo!

Wanna know what's a joke?
Your joke is a joke!

[Alycs]

^That could be taken as a compliment or an insult depending on the stressed word

There is a boy that collects socks. Hey owns socks of nearly every color and pattern, from countries all over the world. One day, he's walking to school when he passes a store, in the window is a pair of socks he doesn't have, so he says "when I get back from school, I will buy those socks." However, when he goes to buy them, he sees they cost 5 dollars when he only has 3. So the next day he goes with 5 dollars, but they then cost 10; the next day 20 when he has 10. So eventually he goes and buys them at 30 dollars, bringing 50 along.
The next day he's walking to school in his new socks, when suddenly a bear runs in front of him and stands on his hindlegs. The bear takes a deep breath and then he says...

Roar

[FLAOFEI]

^Yeah, that was the pun!

You gais arent that good at jokes are you? It's mostly just randomness jokes and insults... It's starting to sound like american standup 'comedy'.

Dogs say woof
Submarines are under water
Dose that mean subwoofers are underdogs?

[Nine Volt]

Yeah! Let's bring nationality into this! That's a perfect idea, what could possibly go wrong with that?

Anyway:
What did the bear say to the hunter?
Nothing. Bears can't talk.

[JSynth]

Wasn't this supposed to be a good joke thread?

No

How did JSynth cross the road?
He J-walked

Why did JSynth cross the road?
Caus there was a crazy hobo chaising him

Why was there a crazy hobo chaising JSynth?
He liked Mocking Jays


Yeah, these puns are bad!

I am so done with you.

[FLAOFEI]

I am so done with you.

Cant tell if hates me and finds jokes insulting, in which case sorry, they just jokes man,
or ironic and actually loves the jokes...

Probably the first... sry, but I <3 all puns, especially the 'bad' ones

Yeah! Let's bring nationality into this! That's a perfect idea, what could possibly go wrong with that?

Yeah... Nothing really. I mean... We all know it's a fact all American comedians use only insults and randomness.
^ That was irony, I actually think allot of todays comedians do that (especially the ones I see on comedy central), and I personally don't enjoy it as much as what I would call 'real' humour. Still there are many comedians who do it good, like Jeff Dunham, and I'm bad with names, but there are more.

What is the holiest chord?
Gsus

What is the gayest instrument in the orchestra?
The Faggot! No offence to gay ppl, but that is a real instrument, and it's funny as hell!!!

Why did J-Synth cross the road?
Cause hes an awesome pony, and awesome ponys cross roads! Sorry if I ever insulted you, I didn't mean to. RuOk? Plz don't hate me

[Djeinus]

What country is after USA in everything?
USB.

[Nine Volt]

What country is after USA in everything?
USB.

huehuehuehue

[Bronies Are Cool]

did you know there's enough power in electricity to make electricity?
did you know there's enough room in a shoe for a foot?
did you know there's enough water in a lake to make a lake?
did you know there's enough leaves on a tree to cover a tree?
Did you know there's enough skin on your body to cover your body?
Did you know there's enough bones in your body to make a skeleton?
Did you know there's enough dirt on a hill to make a hill?

Did you know the blue thing above you is the sky?
Did you know the clear stuff around you is air?
Did you know the thing between your eyes is called a nose?

[CDPP]

You.