Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

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Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby AaronAmethyst » 01 Mar 2013 11:35

I have recently written my first song, and of course it is not the best, nor is it nearly as good as it could be. Sad part is, I can't sing and I have no clue how to actually make music. If any of you are interested in helping, it'd be greatly appreciated. Without further ado, here are the lyrics.

Hello, my name is Pin-kie Pie
I'm the resident partier of Pon-y-ville
Sometimes I invite over Vi-nyl Scratch
Or my great old friend Vau-de-ville

But I can't always be fun and games
Even an endless partier has feel-ings
And the one I hold to my heart
Hovers near my pink ceil-ing

With her mane of rainbow and heart of gold
She makes me really smile, smile, smile!
But that rotten griffon pushed her way in
And she's just so vile, vile, vile!

I just want you to enjoy my part-ay
But you brush me off for her
Ears down, I chase you both all day
And I watch from under your cloud

Don't you think of anyone but yourself?
Do you know how I feel about you?
I want you to know what my heart holds
But I watched as you flew…

Away.


It's almost 5 pm and you're still with her
Can't you just break away for a moment, dear-est Dash?
I'd love to talk and in-vite you away
But she's already invited you to her big ol' bash

And now I'm truly lost, wondering if life was a lie
Wondering if what everyone called Rainbow Pie~ was just fabled
But you know I won't give up, no I won't!
I'll sneak to that place and show off my label!

Of course this can't go wrong
For I have done all the planning
And now I burst from below
And now everypony is staring

And I say

"I just want you to enjoy my part-ay
But you brush me off for her
Don't you love me, Dash?
Or was it all lies and blunder?

Don't you think of anyone but the Sonic Rainboom?
Do you know how I feel about you?
Please see what my heart holds!"
And she away she flew…

Again.


Now there's nothing left for this party pony
My heart's been crushed, dreams undone
The only thing I've ever wanted
Would no longer be a part of her fun…

And solemn I trot
Home, on my own, alone
And the quiet jingle of the shop
Alarms nopony but my own…

Dashie? On my window? Here to see me?
A dream come true, or totally just a dream?
Reach out and touch her, notice her smile
She reaches out a hoof and asks if she can stay a while

"I've come to enjoy your part-ay
Came as fast as I could on this wings
I do love you, Pinkie
You've always been my thing.

Every day, every night, I dream pink
Every afternoon, I feel the same way you do
I see what your heart holds
And that's why I flew…

Here."
AaronAmethyst
 
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby Ocular » 01 Mar 2013 12:39

I could do this, and I could possibly get a singer as well.
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby itroitnyah » 01 Mar 2013 16:54

Oh boy, a newcomer! Welcome! Hit up the MLR Music guide for the basics, and then swing by the Tutors thread and pick up some people who are willing to help you out with getting started with music production stuff. As for this, I don't have an audio interface yet so I can't do vocals, and I'm a bit busy with a work in progress for rainbow&rooted. Definitely going to be quite a few other people who are willing though.
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby Freewave » 01 Mar 2013 19:15

lyrics look pretty good!! just beware some of those lyrics that get to long in verses that simply wont work. While you may not be able to sing you can at least sing them to yourself in the tempo (just a drum loop that fits) and see what you can fit in vocally and which flops . Again the best way to know is to sing it yourself in a rough demo (that doesn't have to see the light of day) and edit accordingly. Since you may turn that demo over to someone who will actually sing it (so they know how you want it done) it's also not a bad idea.
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby Ocular » 03 Mar 2013 09:03

I talked to Rina-Chan and she might sing it, here's what I have as a song so far. Hope it works for you.
https://soundcloud.com/theocularinvisible/i-need-a-singer-for-this-1
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby AaronAmethyst » 03 Mar 2013 16:53

TheOcularInvisible wrote:I talked to Rina-Chan and she might sing it, here's what I have as a song so far. Hope it works for you.
https://soundcloud.com/theocularinvisible/i-need-a-singer-for-this-1

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That was wonderful.
I listened to it and imagined it being sung and just, oh my god. Thanks for the big help here with it so far, and as you can tell, I think it sounds glorious.
This being my first song, I'm shocked.
If you have skype, I'm available there a aaron.amethyst and it would be nice to get to thank you in person (so to say).
And about lyrics, I'm not generally a lyrical master, so working together with the actual singer of the song would definitely help because they'd be able to assist and fix parts they believe need to be edited.
Thank you thank you thank you!
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby AaronAmethyst » 03 Mar 2013 23:02

Re-doing the lyrics so they fit better together.
Here is how it looks as of now. Do need a bit of help with it so it you have ideas, feel free.

He | llo, | my | name | is | Pin | kie | Pie
The | smil | i | est | po | ny | of | all
Some | times | the | D | J | comes | over
Some | times | we | party | in | the | hall

But | it's | not | al | ways | fun | and | games
Even | the | par | ty | po | ny | loves
And | the | one | I | hold | to | my | heart
Hovers | as | gra | cious | as | a | dove

With | her | mane | of | rainbow | and | heart | of | gold
She | makes | me | really | smile, | smile, | smile!
But | that | rot | ten | grif | fon | pushed | her | way | in
Be | cause | she's | just | so | vile, | vile, | vile!

I | just | want | ed | us | to | part | y
Yet | you | brushed | me | off | for | that | girl
Ears | down, | I | chase | you | both | all | day
And | I | watch | from | un | der | your | cloud

Does | any | po | ny | cross | your | mind?
Do | you | know | what | I | think | you?
Can't | you | see | what | my | heart | holds, | Dash?
But | I | watched | as | you | flew… | Aw | ay.


It's almost 5 pm and you're still with her
Can't you just break away for a moment, dear-est Dash?
I'd love to talk and in-vite you away
But she's already invited you to her big ol' bash

And now I'm truly lost, wondering if life was a lie
Was | Rain | bow | Pie | just | a | fa | ble?
But you know I won't give up, no I won't!
I'll sneak to that place and show off my label!

Of course this can't go wrong
For I have done all the planning
And now I burst from below
And now everypony is staring

And I say

"I just want you to enjoy my part-ay
But you brush me off for her
Don't you love me, Dash?
Or was it all lies and blunder?

Don't you think of anyone but the Sonic Rainboom?
Do you know how I feel about you?
Please see what my heart holds!"
And she away she flew…

Again.


Now there's nothing left for this party pony
My heart's been crushed, dreams undone
The only thing I've ever wanted
Would no longer be a part of her fun…

And solemn I trot
Home, on my own, alone
And the quiet jingle of the shop
Alarms nopony but my own…

Dashie? On my window? Here to see me?
A dream come true, or totally just a dream?
Reach out and touch her, notice her smile
She reaches out a hoof and asks if she can stay a while

"I've come to enjoy your part-ay
Came as fast as I could on this wings
I do love you, Pinkie
You've always been my thing.

Every day, every night, I dream pink
Every afternoon, I feel the same way you do
I see what your heart holds
And that's why I flew…

Here."
AaronAmethyst
 
Posts: 11
Joined: 01 Mar 2013 11:25

Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby Ocular » 04 Mar 2013 07:44

Glad you like it ^-^
I sent you a contact request on Skype.
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby AaronAmethyst » 04 Mar 2013 11:57

Good, good. Now just to wait for it to show up... :3
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby AaronAmethyst » 27 Mar 2013 13:01

REVISED:

Hello, my name is Pinkie Pie
The smiliest pony of all
Sometimes the DJ comes over
Sometimes we party in the hall

But it's not always fun and games
Even the party pony loves
And the one I hold to my heart
Hovers as gracious as a dove

With her mane of rainbow and her heart of gold
She makes me really smile, smile, smile!
But that rotten griffon pushed her way in
Because she's just so vile, vile, vile!

I just wanted us to party
Yet you brushed me off for that girl
Ears down, I chase you both all day
And I watch from under your cloud

Does anypony cross your mind?
Do you know what I think of you?
Can't you see what my heart holds, Dash?
But I watched as you flew... away.

There's a party tonight, please join
Break away, just this time, my Dash
I'd love to invite you away
But I hear you are at her bash

Now I'm lost, would we be able?
Was Rainbow Pie just a fable?
But you know I'll never give up!
I'll sneak away to show our label

Of course this can't go wrong
For I have done the planning
Now, I burst from below
Everypony is staring

And I say

"I want you to join my party
But you're brushing me off for her?
Don't you know I love you, Dashie?
Or was it all lies and blunder?

Is the Sonic Rainboom your all?
Do you care that you make me blue?
Please hear the beating in my chest!"
And I watched as she flew... again.

Without my Rainbow, I am lost
My heart's been crushed, my dreams undone
The only thing that I wanted
Would no longer join in the fun...

And solemn I trot
To my home, alone
And the quiet jingle of the shop
Alarms nopony but my own...

Dashie? On my window? Here to see me?
A dream come true, or totally just a dream?
Reach out and touch her, notice her smile
She reaches out a hoof and asks if she can stay a while

"I've come to enjoy your part(a)y
Came as fast as I could on these wings
I do love you, Pinkie
You've always been my thing.

Every days, every night, I dream pink
Every afternoon, I feel the same way you do
I see what your heart holds
And that's why I flew... Here."
AaronAmethyst
 
Posts: 11
Joined: 01 Mar 2013 11:25

Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby itroitnyah » 27 Mar 2013 13:40

Alright, looks pretty good. I could help with composition and possibly vocals if you still haven't gotten anybody to sing or compose for you. I just have to wait a bit, the computer parts arrive by hopefully tuesday so I'll be able to do vocals sometime soon, hopefully. And I'm mostly done with my R&R track, just have to do some touch ups on it, so it's not anything major. If you interested feel free to add me on skype (djitroitnyah) and we can chat about it and plan.
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby Ocular » 27 Mar 2013 14:06

It's okay, I'm already taking care of the music and we have two singers
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Re: Need singer, musician, and most importantly, EDITS

Postby itroitnyah » 27 Mar 2013 14:28

oh ok, alright. Good luck with the project then :P
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