help writing lyrics?

[Facade]

i was woundering if anypony could help me with these ideas for lyrics ive been trying to write a song about luna (i love luna) for a while but i've seem to hit a road block and cant figure anything else out alot of stuff seems off so im woundering if anyone could fix this for me if anyone is up to it please? ?

here they are?
(warning eminent suckage D: )


she was just a diamond in the rough
she didn't feel loved enough
so she forced them to love her
and got thrown to the moon
for a thousand long years-
the stars helped her get back
she tried to be evil
but she kind of slacked
but all will be good again
with the help of the 6 pony friends

[Facade]

bump for the magic of lyrics D:!

[Interrobang Pie]

Luna in the house, all rockin' it up,
But watch out everypony cause she's got a drinks cup,
She's gonna shove that fucking cup right up your arse,
And you'll make a screaming sound that sounds exactly like brass.

Ohh, oh Luna's cup.
It's the product that is up
Ohh, oh Luna's cup.
Better watch out now, little pup.
(http://soundcloud.com/interrobang-pie/rainbows-blood)

(Why must all songs portray Luna as some sort of weak, helpless peasant? She's in charge of THE NIGHT - where people get STABBED and people get LAID and people get DRUNK and people get PAID).

[Versilaryan]

Lyrics are so hard to write if you want them to actually mean something. )=

Basically, there are two approaches you can take when writing lyrics. One is the Pink Floyd or Tool way -- write things that border on making sense and hope they do.

Alternatively, the more common route is the one you seem to have taken -- just write about literal experiences. It's the easiest way to go about things, but at the same time, it's the hardest to not make sound cheesy. With this, we go to the time-honored writer's adage "Show, don't tell". If you want to stress a point, don't say that point outright. Instead, explain it. So, instead of saying "Luna didn't feel loved", you can say something like "Ponies slept through her night. They all adored Celestia but gave her quizzical looks at parties". The latter is far more powerful because 1) it avoids being cheesy, and 2) it makes the reader/listener think for him/herself about what the lyrics mean, even if they are really obvious.

My favorite way of writing things like that is writing from a somewhat second-hand perspective and chronicle a series of small events that happen without actually telling the big picture.


What I tend to do when I write a song is I don't write the lyrics until the very end. I write the music first, and then figure out where the music is going, and then go there with the lyrics. Of course, I leave leeway in the melody for the words -- it's easier to put music to words than words to music.

[Facade]

thanks i'll think about that while im working on these